The Goodbye Process

I’ve decided not to plan the goodbye process. It shouldn’t be a burden on my back, a duty to accomplish. It has a different resonance.

“I’ve talked and said goodbye. Now we can move on with our lives.”

Everything sounds rightfully correct in this sentence. Somehow it counts as a healthy way to approach the situation, your departure from someone, somewhere, or something else to elsewhere. But I often feel that this isn’t the case. Should it be? I’m not sure. I guess it depends on the situation itself and on the people, the places, and the things involved in the goodbye.

For me, it feels too correct, too healthy, too from books. It doesn’t feel practical. In fact, it feels like a sharp turn. I said goodbye. Now I’m gone.

I don’t believe in this sharpness. I’m not in favour of it just because life does not tick in the orderly way we imagine. Our relative timeline can cross more than once. One night, you might lose or win many things. Waves of change can engulf you. Sometimes your goodbye is sharper than your goodbye process. That is why you should leave it unplanned. If a farewell needs to be announced or planned, perhaps it has already turned into something else.

Hamnet deeply affected me and pushed me to think about goodbyes. I’ve had many of them, silently, without my realisation, under the name of growing up, changing, moving somewhere, or a sudden sickness. I don’t blame myself for not being able to say goodbye. Some departures do not ask for words.

Notes to Self

• Many things are changing in my life, and perhaps that makes me nervous and excited at the same time. These days I’m not able to organise myself, but to be fair, I never really have been.

• Inner Pages is preparing itself to celebrate its first year. I cannot believe it’s been a year already. I’m planning to rethink or reorganise the concept of the weekly newsletter. I really would love to read from you. What would you like to read from Inner Pages? Alright, I know, ultimately I write for the sake of consistency and for myself, but I also would like to be sure that I write something worth reading.

That’s it for this week, thank you for spending a little time with Inner Pages. It means the world to me that you’re here, reading these words. If something in this letter resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Just hit reply.

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Until next time, keep wandering.

Ali Baran Y.