Sure, Hun. You Wake Up at 4 a.m. to Read Dostoyevski. Of Course You Do.

God, I hate Instagram. A Love-(mostly)Hate Letter to the Performance We All Click/Like/Tap On

Angrily doomscrolling

A Page from This Week

I hate Instagram. I hated it a little extra this week.

• The endless parade of fake couples.

• The half-naked attention seekers.

• Children’s videos uploaded, probably without their consent.

• People pretending to have productive routines. Sure, hun. You wake up every day at 4 a.m. to read Dostoyevski. Of course you do.

• Ugly trends.

• Tasteless outfits.

• Too much personal information splashed across blurry Instagram stories.

• Weird, shallow impressions of cultures. Korean grandma routines? Ma’am, put that damn phone down.

• Don’t get me started on personal trainers shouting endless commands. OII, URRRAAGG IF YOU WANNA HAVE ABS LIKE MEII, YOU BETTER STEP UP YOUR PU…

• Religious people with their obsession with podcasts.

• The AI hustle freakies how to make money with AI, how to sell this, and how to earn 10K overnight on TikTok. If it's really that easy, why are you screaming it into the void? Are you Gandhi? Or just a liar craving more clicks?

Same shots, same colours, same coffee cups, same fake laughs.
Same interests.
Same ideas.

I'm not even going to argue about how hard it is to find unique content on Instagram anymore. It's obvious. Everything reeks of money.

Money, money, money.

Everyone’s trying to monetise everything. It's exhausting. And frankly, it's embarrassing to watch, random influencers pushing random products with random links and random discount codes. And wow, I must say what a nation of experts we’ve become. So much wisdom. So many guides, tutorials, and life advice. Content creators (or those who think they are) with their copy-paste patterns, smug attitudes, and untouchable confidence… it's surreal. Hard to believe there are some people who still cheer them on.

Alright. My tone is spiralling. I'm losing control. I can feel it.

So here’s a little disclaimer;

I get it. Media and communication evolve. Money is essential, and yes, it’s harder than ever to earn. Choosing a slower, quieter, less visible life is often treated as a privilege. There are professionals out there doing real, valuable work. Influencing is a job. All of this is, technically, valid. Do what you want. Post what you want. Consume however you like. Honestly, I don’t give a fuck in the end. There’s space for everything.

And I’m on the same sinking ship. I try, somewhat clumsily, to market my newsletter.
I share random snippets at 2 a.m. No one likes them. I can’t be less bothered. I even paid €5 for the little blue star. Don’t worry it was just for a month. I was weirdly curious about it. Maybe I got excited about not seeing ads anymore. But that’s not the point. Yes, you still see the damn ads.

The point is, you can’t escape this machine. Even when you don’t mean to, you end up feeding it. We all started using Instagram to share moments, connect with friends, and maybe keep a little archive. I still try to use it like that. But I can’t control my doomscrolling addiction. I know the taste of dopamine too well.

I hear the voice inside me saying, “You’ve chased visibility, you’ve followed influencers, some of whom you still follow.” Yeah, that makes me a bit of a hypocrite. I’ve tried, failed, pretended, and posted things I wish I hadn’t. Well, many mistakes were made. Wish I hadn’t tried any of them.

But I told you, it haunts you.
Now I’m just one of the violin players, playing my tune on the deck of a sinking ship.

And yet…
Here I am.
Sitting with my overpriced coffee in a quiet, slightly posh café in Kadıköy, glaring at the loud shisha place across the street with a grimace.
Yes, I do it on Instagram, too.

Notes to Self

• I’ve been a little sick this week. No energy to move, my whole body hurts, literally. Couldn’t really consume anything… except an overconsumption of reels and TikToks (classic). Anyway, I was planning to share an exciting announcement this week, but things are moving a bit slowly. So let’s say next week, okay? I’ll be more energetic. Promise!

• Also, thank you for all the film suggestions! I’ve been watching and collecting them. Love you for that.

• And one last thing, my sister has her university entrance exam this weekend.
  Wish her luck!

  YOU GOT THIS, YAĞMUR!!!

That’s it for this week—thank you for spending a little time with Inner Pages. It means the world to me that you’re here, reading these words. If something in this letter resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts—just hit reply.

If you enjoyed this, consider sharing it with a friend who might also like it. Sharing keeps this little space alive and growing. And if you’d like to support my work in other ways, you can buy me a coffee or simply keep reading—that’s more than enough…

Until next time, keep wandering.

Ali Baran Y.